This wasn't planned....

So a lot of the time we think we have all things figured out, to what we want to be, to who we are, where we want to live... ect. Well as humans we don't have all of our ducks in a row.

The reason I bring this up is because my plans and what I thought was going to happen changed.

I decided to go back to the states on our 3 week vacation to get my "ducks in a row." Well I ended up staying in the states longer then planned. And because of that it felt like my life was flipped upside down. And it was looking like I wouldn't be able to return to Peru.

Well I wasn't ready to just give up and be ok with that. I simply told God that I have no idea what to do, I don't know how to feel, breathe, or take the news. The news that because I stayed home to get things worked out that I might have messed up the call that God put in my life. And without much warning he opened a door, not a big opening but he opened a door. He allowed me to come back to do some more work down here in Peru.

Well the thing about this is that I will just to be down here temporarily. Just as a temporary partner for a couple of months or so.

So the closer it get to me going back to the states before my time here is up the more and more my heart breaks. It breaks because I am not ready to be finished, I don't want to be, I don't want to accept that I, MY TIME, is up. But there is pattern there........ I.

In this moment I am being selfish. As my Dad likes to put it.... It's not all about you.

And how true is that. Life isn't about what we want, or our plans its God's.

So I know that in my heart of hearts that this isn't what I want but this is God's plan for me in this moment of life.... and I am learning to trust. I am learning to put my human wants away and see what God has in store for me.

I can't wait!!!

He is going to do amazing and beautiful things in my life, things that I can't even fathom.

But as of right now I am learning. Learning to breathe, put everything I have in his hands and not the hands of man.